M a r t i n    K i h n

   Head can't believe it's not butter.




Selections from the Author's corpus:

from Slate
   "Dog Fight"
      why the AKC is more like a bull than a pit
   "Good Dog, Bad Dog"
      cesar millan and the history of dog training
   "That's a Good Boy!"
      the amazing petra ford & tyler

from Huffington Post
  "Isn't It Ironic - Not?"
      apparently not, actually

from Publishers Weekly
  "The Amazing True Non-Fiction Book Subtitle-o-Matic"
      need a subtitle? look no further
      fun for 1.5 minutes or less!
  "Author's Note: This is a Work of Non-Fiction"
      but only in my head
  "Get It?: Adventures in Translation"
      my German sense of humor

from Arena
  "Get Ahead, Be an Asshole"
      bite-$ized ver$ion of the book
  "Get Ahead, Be an Asshole - Part II"
      the final bite$

from The Wall Street Journal
  "In Hot Pursuit of the Next Big Trend"
      warming up to coolness
  "Our Little Boxes"
      getting the last laugh on your cube
  "Cubicle Culprits"
      typecasting your co-workers

from Fast Company
  "In Search of Excellent Dwarfs"
      resplendent return of consultant debunking unit
  "A Consultant Repents"
      hello to me - fat & friendless
  "Boiling the Ocean"
      just add tea - and consultants
  "Reinventing the Wheel"
      closing the loop
  "No Consultant Left Behind"
      age-appropriate reading material
  "You Got Game Theory!"
      who's playing who?
  "Don't Drink the Wyler's!"
      grape-flavored attitude adjuster
  "Net Hoaxes"
      this just in ... and this ... and this ...
  "Everyone, Consult!"
      exciting opportunities for the unemployable
      it's quieter on the inside
  "Return-on-Consultant (ROC)"
      what you'll never know
  "Core Valuations"
      close to the customer? zzzz ...
  "Six Sigma Stigma?"
      99.997% perfect debunking

from Strategy + Business
  "The Three Pillars of Innovation"
      out with the new, in with the new
  "Reinventing Scale: How to Escape the Size Trap"
      the economies of tuna fish
  "Flipping the 'Switch': Big Pharma's Biggest Challenge"
      Rx-to-OTC dreamers smoking dope
  "Relearning e-Learning"
      after the gold rush, who's left?

from New York
  "Dr. Noir"
      James Ellroy - puts the crime in writer
  "Gen X Hucksters"
      looking for fame in all the wrong places
  "Charles In Charge"
      Charles Koppleman - luckiest man in music
  "A Scene Is Made"
      folk you! - East Village rebel-oids
  "Dawn of the Chatternets"
      dead tv, distended
  "12 Characters in Search of a Cameo"
      people you know in 'The Paper'
  ... Linda Staci - scree-ing queen
      my bold face moment
  "Science Non-Fiction"
      James Gleick - serious stuff
  "Modern Art Course"
      mini golf by Cindy Sherman? - yup
  "Spy on Si - and Tina"
      Spy vs. Tina Brown - everybody wins

from GQ
  "Bloom in Love"
      Harold Bloom - he called this 'scurrilous'
  ... Gordon Lish likes me
      he really likes me
  ... and New York Press is free
      get what you pay for
  "Byrne-d Out"
      David Byrne - calypso kleptomaniac
  "The Vision Thing"
      Hal Hartley - the Homer of the Isle of Long

from Spy
  "I Was a Teenage Wolfgang"
      Debbie Gibson v. Mozart
  "Young Vice Presidents Never Die"
      Dan Quayle v. General Macarthur
  "Yo! Bush Be Gangbangin' Like a Homeboy"
      Emperor George Bush I - cunning linguist
  "So What's Wrong with Being Multi-Faceted?"
      Stephen King - a man of many minds

from Us
  "The Black Market"
      rap takes over da world
  "Stonewalling 'Ruby'"
      Oliver Stone screams at me
  "Does Crime Pay?"
      only in points on the back end

from Forbes
  "SDS Jr."
      Student Environmental Action Coalition
  ... in HTML
      conservative crap - not what i wrote
  "The Underpaid: Relative Pain"
      low paid ceo's - don't cry yet
  "Promotion Man"
      Joseph Isgro - musical alleged shady character
  "Miscast Mogul"
      Joe Franklin - business genius, he's not
  "He Told You So"
      Fabian Linden - the Conference Board's bored
  "Deathly Business"
      funeral insurance - before you need it

from Cosmopolitan
  "The 5 Phrases That Win Him Over"
      talking points for sack artists
  "Why He Gets Psycho Before He Gets Serious"
      cold feet at the altar - bad idea
  "How to Take Him Home for the Holidays"
      who wrote this? me?

from Time Out New York
  "Future Shock"
      Michio Kaku - celebrity physicist / sex symbol
  "Net Escape"
      Michael Wolff - 'Burn Rate,' instant classic

from NYPress
  "The Day the Popping Stopped"
      heartbreaking death of Pop-Up '80s

from The New York Times
  "Tommy Boy Is a Girl"
      Monica Lynch - rap's go-go dancer in a suit

from SF Chronicle
  "Mo Love Is Corporate Queen of Rap"
      Monica Lynch gets even shorter

from Details
  "Will Captain Kirk Ever Reach the Final Frontier?"
      William Shatner - bald man?

from Vibe
  "Policing Sampling with the Beat Cops"
      getting rich by getting tough

from Tell
  "Court Date"
      Tupac - late to the set cuz he's in jail